From adversity to triumph, Cindy’s journey shows the power of resilience and personal transformation. As a Wayspring Member Outreach Specialist, she shares her story of overcoming challenges and finding purpose in recovery. Her inspiring narrative showcases how, with the right support and inner strength, it’s possible to rewrite your story.
Cindy’s Story: Turning Pain into Purpose
Cindy’s Story: Turning Pain into Purpose“I grew up in an environment where addiction, abuse, and co-dependency were normal. As a child, I believed that everyone’s home was exactly how mine was. I believed that parents fought, screamed, drank, and did drugs. I thought moving from place to place and school to school was normal. I remember always being scared of everything as a child. So much so that I would get sick to my stomach any time I got nervous and scared.
My father was a very abusive man towards my mom, and I recall being on edge anytime he was expected to be home after pulling one of his all-night outings. I loved my father, and when he wasn’t drinking and using drugs, there was no one else I wanted to be around. I learned early on that when my father was being abusive towards my mom, I could distract him by climbing up in his lap and telling him how much I loved him. So, I became the peacekeeper without even knowing what it was. From then on out, I thought if my dad abused my mom, it was because I didn’t stop him. It was a heavy burden as a child. My mom was co-dependent. She and my father were married when she was young, and she did not know how to live without him. It wasn’t until I was older and in an abusive relationship myself that I understood why she didn’t leave.
From the time I was born until I was eight years old, that’s how my life was. My father entered recovery when I was eight. He and my mom stayed together a few more years after that, and by the time I was 12, my sister and I had moved with my father from the city to a little country town. My mom had an 8th-grade education level, and she didn’t make enough to be able to raise me and my sister.
At the age of 13, I started using illicit drugs and drinking. I no longer felt nervous or scared, and that sick feeling in my stomach was gone. I thought to myself, “I will do this forever.” I developed an addiction to opiates at the age of 15 after I had my first child. My addiction continued, and I had another child at 19. At 21, I had my last child, and I had to give him up because my addiction had progressed so tremendously. I had become a full-blown IV drug user and crack smoker.
From the age of 21 until 33, I had lost all my children, been to 3 treatment centers and several halfway houses, was in and out of jail, and had been convicted of 9 felonies, and I am not sure how many misdemeanors. My addiction continued to grow, and I was willing to do any and everything I had to do to feed it. In 2011, I got out of jail for the last time and managed to stay substance-free for a while. I regained relationships with my kids and family and was a productive member of society.
Me and my father were close and both in recovery. In May of 2015, my father had a usage event, and that same night, he hit a tree doing 95 miles an hour and passed away. While in recovery, I had not done any positive work on myself; therefore, when the rubber met the road, I had no recovery foundation to stand on. By April of 2016, I had returned to use. I died what I call a spiritual death during that time. I didn’t lose any relationships, and I kept it hidden for a while. I didn’t lose my house, car, or any material things as I had done in the past, but I did die spiritually. Before entering recovery in 2011, I had not been in touch with the fact that I even had a spirit. This usage event in 2016 was different. It was the jarring experience that jolted me into recovery.
I returned to recovery on 10/4/16 and will celebrate 8 years substance-free this year!!! What a miracle. Free from all mind- and mood-altering substances. Today, I am a member of Narcotics Anonymous, I work the 12 steps with a sponsor, and I sponsor women. I travel to different states, sharing my story when asked to do so at NA conventions. I have continued to give back what has been given to me in my personal and work life.
Not only am I a mother, but I am a grandmother whose grandchildren have never known their Nonie any other way than who I am today. I have healthy relationships with all three of my children. I am a daughter, sister, friend, and, as of May 2023, a fiancé. I have obtained three college degrees, and if all goes well, I’ll become an LMSW very soon.
I understand that I would not be who I am today without being who I was. I have no regrets; I’ve been given the gift of recovery and been able to live two lives in one. My story connects me to people and makes me appreciate life more than most. I wouldn’t change a thing or have it any other way.”
Her Voice, Her Victory
Cindy’s journey from the depths of substance abuse to a life of purpose and connection is a powerful testament to the transformative power of recovery. It’s a reminder that overcoming substance dependence is just the beginning; the true journey lies in rediscovering oneself and building a life filled with meaning, love, and service. As a Member Outreach Specialist at Wayspring, Cindy embodies our mission: to offer hope, support, and a path forward for those struggling with substance abuse.